Minds
by reddwarfaddict
Summary: Continuation of Hearts. The weed has taken the Doctor's mind, placing him in a made up world with little memory of his life in the the TARDIS, or the grave danger she and Rose are in. Rose can only communicate with him through his dreams, and who says he wants to leave his dream world anyway? TenWhump RoseWhump
1. Part One

**A/N: ****The previous parts to this are Weeds, Pains and Hearts. Must be read!**

And so we're back to this incomprehensible mess. I wish I knew what the heck was going on. Try and work this one out. Seriously. I dare you.

* * *

Part One

The Doctor woke to the rousing smell of a mix of fried bacon, the musty after-smell of a vacuum cleaner and the crisp smell of freshly changed sheets. Through a doorway he could hear a television – Jeremy Kyle, he recognised – over the sound of quiet murmurs of idle chat.

He pulled open his eyes, but the bright light made his snap them shut again. Instead he moaned and raised his arm to shield his eyes, but instead smacked himself in the head with something hard on his wrist, sending waves of pain straight through his brain.

He opened his eyes again, ever so slowly, to see his wrist was in plaster cast. His leg was also propped up on something below the covers, and as he looked down he realised he had no shirt on, and the right side of his ribs were blackened beyond belief. He was further bruised up his arms, amongst various cuts and lacerations. What had...

"Doctor!"

He looked up and found Rose standing there, holding two dirty mugs. "Rose?" he croaked.

She smiled at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," he replied.

"I'll bet," she said, moving forward as Jackie appeared in the doorway, looking concerned. "D'you remember what happened?"

The Doctor frowned, struggling to recall anything before he had woken up. Something about a weed? No. A car. He'd been hit by a car. He'd had the shopping, then hadn't looked both ways before he crossed the road. Why did he think it was something about a weed?

"Got run over," he said quietly, his brain spiking with pain at every slight movement of his head.

She nodded, sitting down on the bed and brushing back his hair from his eyes. "First time you've made sense for a while."

"I'll go and get him some water," Jackie said, and was gone in a flash.

"How long since I got hit?" he asked.

"Four days," she replied.

He thought about that, and then was suddenly panic-stricken as he realised... "My exam!"

"Taken care of," Rose told him. "You're resitting in January. They wanted to make you do it in hospital but we managed to kick that one out."

"... I was in hospital?!" he garbled out, panicked.

"You don't remember?"

"No!"

"You were freakin' out every five minutes, talkin' about some weird stuff about some TV show I think. The nurse said it was probably the painkillers – you were high as a kite. But the University guy took one look at you and scheduled a resit on the spot," she answered, laughing. "Work know too – you're completely covered. So just lie back and rest, yeah?"

Jackie reappeared with a glass of water, placing it on the bedside table. "Doctor Holvey's comin' in half an hour."

"No," the Doctor said immediately. "No doctors. Please."

Rose cast a glance at her mum, who sighed sadly and left out the door, before looking back at the Doctor. "Doctor, you've been hit by a car. You have a concussion. This is the first time you've woken up and not asked for your spaceship. He knows about you, he's not going to do anythin', and besides, we'll be here, yeah?" She leant forward and kissed him gently on the lips. "Lookin' after you."

He smiled at that. "Thanks."

She giggled at him. "You're welcome. Now come on, budge over, Friends is on," she said, jumping into bed next to him with a TV remote in hand, hitting standby.

"Hey," the Doctor suddenly said as she wrapped an arm around him.

"What?"

"I love you."

"I know," she replied with a cheeky grin, her tongue between her teeth, before leaning forward to kiss him. "Love you too."

* * *

"Let's start with the basics," Doctor Holvey began kindly, leaning forward with a notepad in hand. "What's your full name?"

The Doctor stared at her, unblinking. Rose could feel how tense he was just from the grip of his hand. "John Harry Smith, but everyone calls me the Doctor."

"When's your birthday?"

"25th December, 1985."

"So your age is?"

"I'm twenty."

"What's the date today?"

"Around December 1st."

"Around?" Holvey queried.

"I've been unconscious, I've sort of lost track," the Doctor pointed out a little sarcastically.

"Excellent point," Holvey admitted, laughing. "Where do you work?"

"Peckham Library, I'm part time."

"What's your hourly wage?"

"£4.45."

"What do you study?"

"Biological Sciences at Imperial College."

"What mark did you get in your last module?"

"A first."

Holvey persisted with that smile. "Okay, your long term and short term memory seem to be fully intact. How would you rate your pain, on a scale of one to ten?"

"One, I'm fine," he said instantly.

"Doctor," Rose warned him immediately.

He glanced at her, and looked back at Holvey. "Six."

"I will prescribe you some more of your painkillers," he replied, pulling out a form from amongst his notes and scribbling something down. "Your injuries seem to be healing at a spectacular rate. Is there anything you'd like me to know?"

"No."

"Okay, well plenty of bed rest, eat well and drink regularly," he finished, still smiling despite the callousness of the Doctor's replies. "Hope to see you up and about soon."

Rose smiled and got up, taking Holvey to the door and slipping out behind him.

"Sorry," she said quietly, apologetically as she closed the door. "He doesn't like doctors and hospitals very much."

"I didn't think so," Holvey admitted, laughing. "He's very well, will be back on his feet very soon."

"Thank you," Rose said sincerely, and passed back through the door to the Doctor as Jackie appeared from the kitchen, a plate and tea-towel in her hands.

"Everythin' okay?" she asked.

Holvey nodded. "Very much so. He is a very extraordinary young man. I've never seen injuries so severe clean up so quickly. Is this another trait of his... differences?"

Jackie's eyes immediately narrowed, and didn't reply directly to that. "So is there anythin' I need to know about 'is care?"

"Just clean his wounds and change his bandages on a daily basis. I've also prescribed him more painkillers," he said, tearing off a bit of paper and handing it to Jackie. "I believe he's in more pain than he's letting on, so if he needs any more don't hesitate to call me. Oh, I'll also be adding his accelerated healing capabilities to his notes. Amongst the other marvels," he finished, laughing. "He really is a wonder. If there's ever a case for evolution on an incredible scale then he is it. It's almost like he's not human."

Jackie's grip on the teatowel had dramatically escalated, her knuckles turning white.

"Can I ask, why is he so afraid of hospitals and doctors?" Holvey queried.

Jackie didn't move an inch. "Did you cancel every appointment to come and see him today?"

"I had a clear..."

"No, you didn't," she interrupted smoothly. "You saw his records and didn't even finish your coffee. You were already out the door, out to see the two-hearted wonder, weren't you?"

Holvey flinched, blushing slightly. "He's very unique."

"That's what they all say. All you people want to do is _study '_im, stare at 'im like some circus show freak. He's had it 'ard enough as it is – he doesn't need you lot constantly proddin' things into 'im!"

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Ms Tyler..."

"Don't gimme that. When he was sixteen he 'ad a bad allergic reaction, I got him to 'ospital. I saw him three hours after, linked up to every bloody machine on the planet. I asked the doctors what each one did. They admitted they weren't needed, they just linked 'im up to see what the monitor would show. It's no wonder he bloody hates all of you."

"I understand your feelings," Holvey insisted. "The NHS would be welcome to any complaints of conduct, that's maybe something for his parents to be told about?"

Jackie's eyes narrowed. "If you bothered to read past the first line you'd know his parents are dead. He was raised in a Children's Home. I've been his legal guardian since he was fifteen."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

"And part of bein' 'is legal guardian is to tell you lot to take a hike. He's a sweetheart, never a bad word, not single bad bone in his body, with a brain bigger than a mountain. But that's all you lot are interested in - bones and brains. 604% bone density they told me, like I care. All I care is he's John, he's not had much 'appiness and now me and Rose are fixin' the damage. When he gets a home visit in Thursday I want Doctor Wilson, like I asked. Good bye, Doctor Holvey."

Holvey knew it would be unwise to say anything further, so collected his bag and left.

Jackie sighed, locking the door behind him before going to make dinner.

* * *

_The Doctor was in a no place, the world around him dark and distorted. He couldn't move, utterly paralysed and staring ahead at a figure in the distance – a person, he realised. But she was shining so brightly he could barely look at her for hurting his eyes, and had to snap them shut._

"_Doctor!" a woman cried from a long distance. The voice was so familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. "Doctor, oh God, I found you, you've gotta listen, the Tardis has taken my mind so she can fight the weed, but I think the weed has yours to fight back. Please don't make me and the Tardis hurt you, we don't want to hurt you. You have to fight this. Whatever place you're in it's not real okay? Don't let the weed win..."_

* * *

The Doctor jerked awake, jolting and opening his eyes to find himself still in bed, on his side with one hand under the pillow and other cradling his own face. His fingers were wet. It took him a few seconds to realise that he had been crying. Crying in his sleep?

A hand suddenly moved on his chest, fingers trying to clutch at his shirt. He looked over to find Rose there, sighing contentedly as she repositioned to press against him more. He gently took her hand, holding it in his own.

"Doctor?"

He looked over to see her awake, gazing at him below heavy eyelids. "Did I wake you up?" he asked, turning over with a wince.

She shook her head, frowning a little at him. "You're cryin'. Are you okay?"

"Had a strange dream."

"What about?"

"I..." he suddenly stopped, frowning. "There was this..." But as he tried to describe it it was already slipping away. "Can't remember."

She giggled at that. "You okay, though?"

He nodded, kissing her on the forehead and wrapping his arm around her. "Go to sleep."

She closed her eyes again, drifting off almost immediately. For a while he gazed at the ceiling, trying to recall what he'd been dreaming about.

By the time he was asleep, he still couldn't remember it.

* * *

The Doctor stepped into Peckham library two weeks later at 9am on a Saturday morning. He made his way to the desk, smiling at a brunette girl at the computer.

"Doctor!" she realised, smiling. "We weren't expectin' you for a bit. Are you okay?"

He gestured to himself, the only marks of his accident being a bandage around his left hand covering several terrible cuts that just refused to go away, and some small bruises to his cheek. "Almost perfect, thanks," he told her with a grin.

She giggled, her expression a picture of relief, and gestured in the vague direction of the boss' office. "Angela wanted to see you."

"What does she wants?"

She laughed again. "How would I know? She probably wants to promote you."

He rolled his eyes, giving her a farewell wave as he went up the stairs to Angela's office. He hovered outside the door for a few moments, before finally knocking and Angela's voice came from behind the foreboding wood to acknowledge entrance.

She looked up when he entered, extremely surprised. "John," she said, his eyebrows somewhere near her hairline. "I was just about to call you..."

"You wanted to see me?" he asked, still standing in the doorway.

"Yes... take a seat," she said, gesturing to the chair. The Doctor closed the door and sat down in the proffered chair, putting his bag on the floor. "I won't beat about the bush, John – your sickness absence left a massive hole in our staff. We had to bring in another person. They started a week ago."

The Doctor frowned. "What are you saying?"

"We can't afford another assistant. Your services are no longer required."

* * *

"But they can't do that!" Jackie yelled forty minutes later back in the flat, absolutely furious.

"I know," the Doctor muttered into his cup of tea.

"It's illegal! It's unfair dismissal! You were there first! Did ya tell them that's illegal?"

"What use would that have been?" he asked seriously. "The know it's illegal. I'm a part time library assistant, I've been working there for six months. No one cares."

"You've still got rights! You could sue 'em for that! Tracy got twenty thousand pounds when she had this!"

"Tracy only gets jobs for maternity pay," he muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing," he dismissed. "Look, I'll just find another job. I don't want the stress."

"But you were happy there!"

Suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out.

**Usual place for lunch? R x**

He stood up, texting Rose back as he did. "I'll find another job," he repeated, pressing send.

"It's not like the old days, Doctor. You can't just get walk into another place and get a job on the spot! Go get yourself on Jobseekers!"

"Something'll come along," he persisted, draining the last of his tea.

"Where are you goin'?"

"Meeting Rose."

"Good. Maybe she can convince you to sue the 'ell out of them. I'll get onto the police, find out what your rights are, okay?"

The Doctor knew there was no convincing her otherwise. "Okay. I'll see you later."

"And you'd better have a job when you do!" she yelled, before realising what she'd done, and her expression fell as she quickly reached out to hug him. "Sorry, sweetheart. Go and meet Rose."

He nodded. "Thanks, Jackie," he said, and left out the door.

* * *

Rose was already sat at the fountain when he arrived, having picked up the sandwiches and snacks on the way. She waved to him when she saw him, but quickly registered that something had happened.

"What's wrong?" she asked immediately as he took a seat.

"I've been fired."

"What!?"

"Chicken or ham?" he asked, holding the two sandwiches up in each hand.

"Never mind that!" she dismissed. "You've been fired? Why?"

He sighed, dropping his hands. "They hired someone I while I was off sick. Now they can't afford another assistant."

"But you were there first! That's not fair!"

"Please don't," he said seriously. "I've already got an earful off of Jackie this morning."

She couldn't help but laugh at that, reaching forward to hug him. "I get it. Sorry," she said, and pulled back. "Chicken."

"What?"

"Sandwiches, idiot," she said, laughing again.

"You don't want the ham?" he asked, sounding a little deflated.

"Fine, I'll have the ham," she said, plucking it out of his hand.

"But..."

"Doctor," she interrupted smoothly. "You just got fired, if havin' chicken sandwiches makes you happy then I'm fine with that."

"Fair enough," he supposed with a sniff, and started attacking his chicken sandwich.

"They're idiots if they fired you anyway," she said through a mouthful of ham. "Straight A student, super clever, not a black mark anywhere, you're sexy, and you make everyone's lives better. Screw 'em."

"I make everyone's lives better?" he repeated.

"Well, you made mine better."

"What?"

"D'you remember how we met?"

"Err..."

"In the shop by school, remember?"

"You were with Jimmy Stone."

"Yeah. I was tryin' to pick some sweets, and you told me the Kinder Bueno's tasted weird and I shouldn't buy one. I ain't bought one since."

He laughed at that, ramming the last of his first sandwich into his mouth and picking up the second. "I made your life better by telling you not to buy Kinder Bueno?"

She grinned, continuing the story. "Then you kept bein' in the shop after school."

"Strange, that," the Doctor grinned.

"Then I broke up with Jimmy and we started goin' out. I mean, god knows what would've happened if I stayed with Jimmy. He got another girlfriend after I left him, she got pregnant, dropped out of school early and now he's in jail. And now I'm goin' to uni. Me, at uni. Not a great uni, but still a uni."

He laughed. "It's all right."

"I weren't exactly Oxbridge material I guess," she said, smiling. "You were that. Didn't they offer?"

He nodded.

"Why did you reject it?"

"I was never interested in Oxbridge. Load of stuck up upper class politicians."

"... You didn't just stay in London for me, did you?"

He looked at her, swallowing the last of his second sandwich. "Did you hear what I just said?"

"All right, I'll believe you," she said, rolling her eyes before sighing loudly as she finished her sandwiches. "S'pose this means mum's gonna be goin' mental about money again."

"I'll find another job."

"She's relying on you, y'know."

"For what?"

"You're the clever one. To her you're s'posed to get the really brilliant job and buy us all a mansion in Chelsea."

He snorted with laughter, nearly choking on his crisps. "Yep, I'll get right on that."

"I'm serious," she insisted.

"I don't doubt it," he said honestly.

"Me either," she replied, reaching forward and hugging him tightly, kissing him. "You're brilliant."

"I know," he said, and she laughed again.

"Better get back to work," she supposed, checking the time on her phone. "Hey, you could come."

"What?"

"Be a loitering customer that asks me an endless stream of annoying questions."

"Err..."

"Or, you could go back to the flat."

He stared at her.

"To Mum."

He blinked.

"She's probably already on the phone to some tribunal."

"Work's is this way, isn't it?" he said quickly, jumping up and pointing.

Rose laughed, jumping to stand up next to him. She grabbed his hand, and together they left to Henrik's.


	2. Part Two

**A/N: **Any idea what's going on? No? Join the club! :P**  
**

* * *

Part Two

_The light was brighter – not a lot, just a bit. The figure was slightly more sharpened, but the Doctor still couldn't see any detail._

"_Please, please talk to me," the woman was begging. "I came in here to beat this, but I need you, Doctor. Please. If you're here it means there's a bit of you still left, so please, fight it. Please say somethin'..."_

* * *

"Rose!"

The word tore out of his mouth in a desperate yell, his entire body jerking abruptly, his arm shooting up to the sky as if desperately trying to reach someone.

Rose yelped from next to him, torn out of sleep. She sat up immediately, looking around in a panic until she saw him lying there with his hand outstretched, shaking badly.

"Doctor?" she said quickly diving on him to wrap her arms around him. He had tear tracks down his face again, his eyes wide and staring straight up at the ceiling. "Doctor!"

His eyes suddenly flickered to her, and immediately his hand dropped. "Rose?" he croaked.

"Doctor, talk to me."

"... Rose," he whispered, still staring up at her with tearful eyes – still not having blinked.

"Yeah, somethin' else?" she begged, brushing back his hair with the palm of her hand. He reached up to take it, pressing her fingers to his face.

"S-sorry," he stammered out.

"Bad dream?" she asked him.

He nodded, reaching up to wipe at his wet eyes.

"What about?"

"... I can't remember."

She sighed. "Not even a bit?"

He shook his head.

"It's okay," she said, holding him even tighter.

"I'm getting up," he said suddenly, pulling away from her and jumping to his feet, reaching for his shirt.

Rose glanced at the clock. "Don't be mad, it's 3am."

"I know, but I just... I don't want to go back to sleep," he said, pulling his shirt on.

"Stay here," she said, almost begging.

He glanced at her, lying there staring at him with those big doe eyes. He sighed, running his hands through his hair before dropping to sit back down on the bed.

"Lie down," she said, pressing a hand to his shoulder. Reluctantly he did, but remained absolutely tense as he stared unblinkingly at the ceiling. At least until she suddenly leant forward and kissed him deeply, a hand creeping under the bottom of his shirt.

He stiffened slightly, in more areas than he'd care to admit. His eyes snapped straight to her as she pulled away from kissing him, gazing deeply at him.

"Okay?" she asked gently.

He swallowed, trying desperately to suppress all of the processes his body seemed to want to do as her hand remained where it was, frozen in place until he answered the question.

"I've..." he began, but the word barely came out, seemingly caught in his throat. So he cleared his throat and tried again. "I've... I've never... never done... this before."

"I know," she interrupted softly.

"I've only... I've only ever been with you."

"I know," she repeated with just as much softness.

"I don't... know..."

"I know," she said for the third time. Her hand still hadn't moved; her cool fingers flexing slightly on his burning skin. He suddenly needed to breath a lot more, and he could feel his body shaking, not even with any kind of pleasure yet – just the anticipation alone was enough. "Do you want to?" she continued in a whisper. "I'll stop if you just say."

"... It's okay."

"Sure?"

"Yeah..."

Her hand moved down.

* * *

Christmas arrived like a sledgehammer to the face. Before he knew it, the Doctor was sitting on the sofa watching the EastEnders Christmas Special bored out of his skull.

Rose was sat next to him, or rather, asleep on him, and Jackie was staring intently at the television with her glass of Lambrini just about to slip from her fingers – utterly gripped by what was happening in front of her. Thankfully the end came sooner rather than later and Rose finally stirred, lifting her head from his chest as Jackie ran off to the kitchen to pour another drink.

"All right?" he asked quietly, an arm still wrapped around her.

She nodded, stretching like a little kitten and yawning at the same time. "Eastenders over?"

He nodded, brushing back her hair from her eyes. She caught his hand in mid-movement, gazing at him.

"What?" he asked indignantly.

She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. She frowned, sitting up and looking at the door.

"Nine thirty on Christmas Day? Someone's got a nerve," she said, getting up. The Doctor kept a hawk eye on her as she opened the door and he saw a man standing there – dark hair, well presented with smart but slightly eccentric clothes and thick-framed glasses.

"Can I help you?" Rose asked as the Doctor tensed a little, ready to dart to her aid if need be.

"Is John Smith living here?" the man asked, looking past Rose to the Doctor still sat on the sofa, before quickly looking back at her.

Rose stepped sideways to obscure his view inside. "Who wants to know?"

The man held up what looked like a letter. "This letter is for John Theta Smith on this exact date, on his 21st birthday."

"You're kiddin'," Rose said disbelievingly, stretching a hand out to take the letter, but the man pulled it away.

"I needs to be delivered personally," he insisted. "Straight into his hands."

Rose turned back to the Doctor, but he was already on his feet and at the door.

"I'm John Theta Smith," he said, holding out his hand.

The man looked at him – and suddenly the Doctor froze, frowning slightly as something stopped him dead. The way the man was looking at him... the way the Doctor felt. Like something had suddenly connected them together, latched onto them both... And this feeling, _overwhelming _feeling, that there was something he needed to get back to, _someone _he needed to get back to...

The man's eyes disconnected, and abruptly the feeling left the Doctor. The man held out the letter, his eyes fixed to the ground.

"John, please take it," he said, thrusting it into John's hands. He then bowed, and walked away to the stairwell.

The Doctor looked at Rose, who shrugged and closed the door.

"What was that about?" Jackie asked as Rose turned back, the Doctor pulling open the letter.

Rose just raised a finger to her lips, inclining her head at the Doctor as he began to read.

**John Theta Smith **

**To be delivered on 25th December 2006 **

_Dear John,_

_I write this to you on the very day you were born, and I intend to get it delivered to you on your your 21st birthday. I hope it finds you well. _

_There is something that you must know, which I am sorry I could not tell you in person. This may be shocking, but I am telling you the absolute truth. _

_By now you will have noticed that you are not like other people. You are physically different, and intellectually far superior to people around you. You have probably wondered why this is. There is a very simple explanation - one which I don't expect you to immediately accept, but I hope you will in time. _

_Your father was not a human. He was a Gallifreyan, from a planet far away and superior to ours. I have been there, I travelled with him as his companion around the universe for several years before we married. Our wedding was on a beautiful planet called Larea Minor, I wore red and he wore blue. When I discovered I was pregnant with you, we were immediately pursued, and we decided to give up travelling and stayed on my home planet to keep you safe until you grew up. _

_However, we are both no longer with you. I am sorry that you have had to endure that pain, and that this comes to you in written form. I understand this will be hard to take in, you may even call me mad, but I beg you to indulge me and open your mind. _

_If my arrangements are correct, also arriving with this letter will be your father's most prized possession - his spaceship. It's called a TARDIS; which stands for time and relative dimensions in space. It is now yours. But you will have to find the key yourself._

_Whether you choose to accept this or not, I wish you a wonderful, happy life, and always remember that we both love you, even if we are only in your dreams._

_Astrid Rose Penelope Smith, John Ulysses Koschei Smith_

_PS: The man that delivered this letter was your father. Did I mention? The TARDIS also travels in time._

Rose and Jackie barely had time to blink before the Doctor was out of the door, the letter dropping redundantly onto the carpet.

* * *

The Doctor emerged into the cold Christmas night air, throwing himself at the balcony wall and scouring everywhere for the man.

"FATHER!" he screamed down through the estate, trying desperately to see where he had gone. He wasn't there, so the Doctor ran to the stairwell and dove through the door, skipping five steps at a time to get down as quickly as he could...

He emerged at the bottom, but there was still utterly no sign of the man.

"FATHER!" he yelled again, tears prickling at the edge of his eyes. "I don't understand!"

Suddenly he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye – something big and blue. He turned his head to find a tall blue box with the word **POLICE **written on it...

* * *

_He was back in that non-place again, the figure in the distance closer and sharper than ever before. Even as she spoke she was louder, her pronunciation better..._

"_You're gettin' more frequent, that means you're winnin'. Please say somethin'," the woman begged him._

_He couldn't get a single word out, no matter how hard he tried to make his voice-box hum and his mouth form words..._

"_I think you can hear me, so here's the plan. The TARDIS has implanted herself into your vision with a made up story that your vision self might believe. But you don't have a key to open her. You need to want that key, Doctor. You want to have to leave that world. Just open the TARDIS door and you'll be back here in reality, okay? Please try. We need you so badly."_

"_Rose," he suddenly got out exactly the same moment his brain exploded with pain. He cried out, holding his head as tears were suddenly cascading down his face._

"_It's okay, the pain's good, I promise, it's fine. It means you're comin' back here. Stay with me, okay? Keep talkin' to me."_

"_I... don't... under... stand..." he managed to get out as his head continued to scream with pain, blinding him..._

"_I'm real. Everythin' else is a dream. Whatever world you're in, it's not real. Please trust me. I'm real. The weed is gonna try everythin' to keep you there, but you've gotta resist..."_

"_You're a dream, you're a dream, you're a dream," he continually repeated under his breath, forcing her away. The more he did that, the less his head hurt..._

"_I'm not a..."_

* * *

"John?"

John snapped awake, finding himself on the sofa in the flat with Rose poking his shoulder. The credits for Eastenders were rolling, and Jackie was getting up to refill her glass of Lambrini.

"Did you just..." he began, but quickly stopped himself as he realised that must have all been a dream. But it was very vivid – cut clear inside his head – every single detail...

"Did you have another nightmare?" Rose asked, stroking his cheek.

"... I don't know," the Doctor replied truthfully. It hadn't felt like a nightmare.

"What was it about?" she asked.

"Can't remember," he lied. He didn't want to tell her about it. She'd just think he was going completely mad. Maybe he was. "Just gonna get some air."

And with that, he quickly left for the door, emerging onto the balcony and closing the door behind him. He leant forward on the wall, eyes closed, breathing deeply as he desperately tried to sort out his crazy head.

"Doctor?"

He spun around in alarm at the sudden voice behind him, finding Rose standing there looking very concerned.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"Fine," he replied quickly, pulling a very forced smile.

"You're really not a very good liar," she said seriously, pulling him forward to kiss him, softly and fully on the lips. "Tell me what's goin' on."

He swallowed, his eyes flickering to the ground, then the door, then a piece of chewing gum stuck on the wall. Anywhere but her. "You'll think I'm mad."

She laughed at that. "I already think you're mad. What is it?"

"I..." His eyes flew up again, seeing the door was ajar and Jackie could be listening.

She followed his gaze, and took the hint. She stepped back and ducked her head in through the gap. "We're goin' for a walk! Back later!"

She didn't even wait for a reply, closing the door, taking his hand and leading him to go down into the street.

* * *

He told her everything, every last detail of the dream still clearly etched in his mind. Absolutely nothing was faded this time – it was so clear, he could even remember when in the dream he'd _breathed. _

Rose just listened, not uttering a word until he'd finished.

"So," Rose began, struggling to work it out in her head as she wrapped her coat tighter around her. "I'm just in your imagination, and this weed that's attackin' your spaceship right now has made me so you'll stay here with me and not go back to save this girl, and now your ship has taken over her mind, the weed has yours and now there's some kinda fight going on... Then also your spaceship is here in this world and you need to want to leave this world for the door to open?"

The Doctor blinked slightly. Hearing it out loud made it sound so much more ridiculous. "I don't believe it," he said quickly.

"Hope not," she said, before musing for a moment. "... Isn't there a bit of you that does, though?"

He pulled a face. He couldn't lie to her. "Well... Maybe. I don't... I'm not like everyone else. The way I think, the way my body is, I just..." he paused, swallowing and dropping his gaze to the floor. "It would explain so much..."

"Okay, stop," Rose said immediately, turning to rest her hands on his shoulders and pulling him to look at her. "Look at me."

He did, frowning. "What?"

"What we did the other night. If you're right, if this other me really does exist in this spaceship and this is all in your head, are you sayin' that when we made love it was just your imagination?"

He swallowed. "Umm... I... I'm not... but..."

She cut off his stammers by leaning forward and placing her lips on his, her tongue slipping inside his mouth. She took his face in both hands with soft, gentle hands, holding him in place as she continued her adventure inside his mouth. It was twenty seconds until she pulled back and smiled.

"Am I still a dream?" she asked quietly, still cupping his face.

"More like a nightmare," the Doctor replied seriously, and she immediately dropped her hands.

"Oi!" she remarked, laughing.

"No," he continued, just as seriously as before, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "I love you. That's not a dream. I know that's real. I love you."

She beamed and pecked him another kiss. "I know, I love you too," she said.

"There's just one thing that I don't understand."

"What?"

"If you're real, and this world is real, and all my dreams are just dreams and therefore aren't real at all, then why is that there?" he asked, and pointed over her shoulder.

She turned to find a big blue telephone box standing just ten metres away.

She had no idea what to say to that.

"Do you wanna leave?" she suddenly asked.

He was startled by the question. "No, I want to stay with you."

"Good."

"Think I'm mad yet?" he asked seriously.

She turned back to him with her ever lovely smile. "Of course, but I still love you. Forgot the phone box. You probably saw it earlier without realisin' and you dreamt about it, yeah?"

"... Yeah," he eventually said, nodding. That sounded right. Very right...

* * *

"_You're further away," the woman said, sounding panicked. "No, you were gettin' closer. Please, Doctor..."_

"_You're not real."_

"_I am," she said desperately._

"_I'm not leaving," he grated._

"_You have to."_

"_Get out of my head!" he yelled, taking another step back._

"_No!" she shouted back. "I'm not lettin' you just give up! You never give up!"_

_It was only then he recognised the voice._

"_You're Rose!" he suddenly realised, his eyes shooting open in alarm, stepping forward again. The image of her suddenly sharpened, to such a degree he could pull out recognisable facial features._

"_Yeah, yeah I'm Rose, I'm your companion, I travel with you. You save the Universe, and me. I really, really need you to save me now. Can you remember me?"_

"_Do you love me?"_

_There was a brief pause. "... W-what?" came back the stammer._

"_I love my Rose, she loves me. Do you love me?"_

"_I can't..."_

"_You don't, do you?"_

"_I didn't say..."_

"_If my world isn't real then I know what is. The love I have for you is real."_

"_Oh my god," she whispered._

"_Why would I leave a world where Rose loves me back to one where she doesn't?"_

"_I can't..."_

"_Get out of my dreams!" he shouted, stepping away again._

"_No!" she shouted back. "I'm not leavin' till you're safe!"_

"_I am safe! I'm safe and happy here! Just leave me alone and I'd be a lot happier!"_

_She suddenly fell very quiet. For a moment he thought she might have given up,until he heard a small, shaky voice._

"_I don't want to hurt you."_

"_What?"_

"_Please don't make me hurt you."_

"_You're gonna hurt me!?"_

"_The weed's made you the enemy," she continued quietly. "It's grown right inside your body, into your brain. It's controllin' you inside out, and you're stuck, the real you I mean, he's stuck inside that stupid airhead brain you've got right now, still alive. But the weed knows the TARDIS would never hurt you, and the weeds usin' that. The TARDIS would rather be taken over by the weeds than hurt you. So... I promised her I would."_

"_You're going to kill me."_

"_Please," she begged, clearly now in tears. "Just come back, just leave, cos... I can't do that. Not even to save the universe... Not you. Please, I don't want to hurt you."_

"_I don't believe you, I don't believe anything you're saying!" he shouted immediately, tense. "If you were me what would you believe!?"_

_She didn't answer that, just sobbing. "Its completely got you, hasn't it?"_

"_Nothing's got me!"_

"_I'm so sorry."_

"_What for?"_

_She raised her arm, and before he could even register what she was doing there was a loud bang, startling him. He was just about to look around to see what it had been when he suddenly felt something warm on his belly. He looked down to see what it was._

_Blood._

_Slightly confused and dazed he looked up to her, and saw her holding a gun with tears rolling down her face._

_She'd shot him._

"_Rose...?" he whined, his voice breaking as he collapsed to the floor. The pain was strangely distant, as though not really part of him, but he still couldn't be able to seem to move as he watched his own blood pool out onto the surface beneath him, redder than any blood he'd ever seen before._

"_I'm sorry," Rose gasped in-between her tears. "I love you."_

"_Rose," he gasped, unable to find any words to put in a sentence that made any sense in his head. His brain felt like a balloon. What was happening? "Help... me..."_

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she gasped again. Why was she apologising?_

_He was..._

_They were..._

* * *

The Doctor woke up, tears staining his face badly. He looked to his left, but Rose was still fast asleep next to him, completely oblivious. She looked even more beautiful when she slept.

It was a dream. Just a dream.

He wiped at his eyes, making to turn over to hold Rose closer to him when a sudden, horrific pain shot through this stomach. He gargled out a cry, frozen in mid-roll as he realised...

"No, no, no..." he whispered, holding out a shaking hand to the cover...

He pulled It back to reveal he and the sheets were absolutely coated in blood. His own blood. Blood from a wound in his stomach...

He couldn't help but scream, then. His entire body was shaking, wracked with pain and shock at the hole in his stomach. _Wasn't it supposed to be a dream?_

It wasn't. It really, really wasn't. Dream Rose was real, and he was stuck, stuck inside his own head as the weed slowly but surely took over him and his entire beloved ship...

He had to get back to the TARDIS.

But before he could move, suddenly the pain abruptly stopped, and he looked up to find Rose was sitting up, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Stop it," he demanded. "Stop using her image."

She just smiled at that. Every millimetre of it was genuine.

"Am I talking to you now?" he continued. "The weed that's in my ship?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm the Doctor, nice to meet you. Get out of my head."

"Do you really want that?"

"Yes!"

"Think again."

"There's nothing to think about," he retorted rudely. "Let you live inside my own head whilst you take me TARDIS and _grow _all over the entire universe? I've worked out this world isn't real, and I want to leave."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I..." Suddenly the Doctor stopped dead in his thought track as he realised... "... Wait. This was never about me questioning whether it's real or not. It was never about deceiving me. It's a question of whether I want to stay..."

"Live here for an eternity," the Weed said, nodding. "Be happy. What I do to your ship and with your body is irrelevant. You will never know. You'll get to live this life, with her, for as long as you are happy."

The Doctor swallowed. "But there's one thing you've forgotten."

"I've forgotten nothing."

"Rose and my TARDIS are still there. I'd be abandoning them. You'll kill them."

"But they're here, here with you. They'll never leave. You'll live the perfect life with Rose – the one you'd have if only you were capable. And now you are."

"But they're not real."

"They are better than real."

He swallowed, searching the covers of the bed as if looking for an answer. "So you want me to live like this inside my own mind, while you take every other bit of me and use it for your own gain?"

"Yes."

"Or I could just beat you, save Rose, and get my ship back."

"And go back to your previous life? Wracked with guilt, unspoken love and the only certainty being that one day she will die, either covered in blood or old and withered? I'm giving her immortality. I'm giving you the best life you will ever have. I will give you a wonderful story to live, I will write every line, I will give you sadness to make the happiness greater. You can marry her, I can give you what you have now – the TARDIS, infinite travel across time and space, without the risk of death. I will care for you, Time Lord. From now until your body dies. I can erase your memory of your previous existence. You can be happy... forever."

"Happy and oblivious."

"I'm inside your head, Time Lord. I've grown through your ears and into your brain. I can see every detail of your memories, every thought you've ever had. They're harrowing. How can you stand with such a heavy weight on your shoulders? I can get rid of that... Forever."

He stared at her, but didn't reply.

"Make your choice, Time Lord."

**To be continued in "Bodies"...**

* * *

**A/N:** And what's going to happen next? Search me. I've called it Bodies, so it must be something about that. Or something. I'm confused. I need a lie down.

Laura


End file.
